Mind over matter is not relevant when it comes to in vitro fertilization. After our last embryo transfer, I felt so sure that I was pregnant. Knowing a fertilized embryo had been placed in my well prepared uterus, and then injecting progesterone and estrogen to create a pregnancy like state to encourage its growth played a huge role in me thinking I was pregnant. Sadly, I wasn’t. This time around, I’m just thinking positive. I’m trying not to analyze every cramp and craving, knowing I can’t force anything. What’s meant to be will be and I really hope that this time, it works. Let there be a little embryo growing in there so mom and dad to be can be blessed with a little baby this year.
Archive for March, 2010
Mom to be and I arrived at the clinic a few minutes before our 10:45 appointment time for the 11:30 embryo transfer. They want you to have a comfortably full bladder, which makes the uterus easier to view. I finished my huge bottle of water only to find out they were behind schedule so I had to start over again, rather than be stuck with an extremely full and uncomfortable bladder. I was nice and hydrated when our time came. We went back to the procedure room, the same one as before and went over post transfer instructions with the nurse. I took my valium, then undressed from the waist down, put on the gown and booties and got comfortable. The valium kicked in immediately and I was very relaxed. Our doctor came in with a picture of the beautiful five day embryo they had thawed and got everything ready to go. The nurse did an abdominal ultrasound and we were able to see my uterus as the doctor guided in the catheter. He called through the window for one embryo using the mom’s name and minutes later it was complete. A tiny little embryo was placed in my uterus where we hope it implants and grows. The nurse and doctor pulled me further back onto the bed so I was laying flat and I rested there for about twenty minutes. I actually fell asleep and had vivid dreams which I no longer remember.
I got up, got dressed then was wheeled to the restroom, then the car. We picked up lunch for the road then headed back home. The valium made me so relaxed, I managed to nap on and off throughout the afternoon. Two more days of being a “couch potato” then I can resume daily activities but need to avoid strenuous activities and heavy lifting until after the pregnancy test which is scheduled for April 5th. This waiting time is called the two week wait and those who have been through IVF know how hard it is! There is so much anticipation and wonder. I’m going to do my best to only think positive thoughts and keep my mind as distracted as possible.
Because I have such a sporadic work schedule, I have a handful of babysitters I use for my appointments that come up throughout the week. Finding dependable and affordable childcare has been one of my biggest parenting challenges. Last week, I lined up a sitter for Thursday’s embryo transfer. Late Tuesday afternoon, I got a message saying they wouldn’t be able to babysit because they just realized they had Friday off work, not Thursday. I had already been down my list and had no one available for 7 am on Thursday. I called up a girl I had found on craigslist that seemed promising and had her come over to meet the kids and me to see if we had a match. There was a great connection and she was happy to babysit on Thursday. I filled her in on the fact that I was going to be a surrogate and was going down to the doctor’s for the transfer. I also mentioned the timing might change a little because we are dealing with such a precise process. Everything was okay with her. Phew! I had finally covered my five different appointments spanning three days.
This morning I received a text saying “I’m sorry, I can’t babysit.” WHAT?!? I freaked out a little and sent a text back saying “I’m really disappointed and now have to find someone last minute. It is really hard to find dependable people.” She apologized again then wrote back a half an hour later saying she could indeed watch them and had her schedule mixed up. If I had another option I would’ve gone with it but I didn’t. So we’re on again.
It’s incredible to me what babysitters charge these days. I feel $10-$12 an hour is reasonable to be watching and playing with two kids. Rates I’ve been seeing on craigslist are $15-$20 an hour. Seriously? $20 an hour to babysit? I hope that includes cleaning the house and cooking us dinner! In the end, I’m covered for tomorrow and am meeting with two more potential sitters to add to my list. I can’t express enough how grateful I am for my amazing friends that help out with my kids. It is wonderful to have such loving people in our lives and I am so thankful that they enjoy and want to spend time with my little ones.
Our appointment has been pushed back to 11:30 tomorrow with an arrival time of 10:45. Now I’ll get a full nights’ sleep and will be much more coherent for the transfer. I am so excited and hoping this is it! Off to get a massage…then I’ll be ready as can be.
As my four year old daughter is counting down the days to her mini-vacation with her Auntie using a paper chain we made; I am counting down the days to transfer based on how many medrol I have left. Only two more! I have been working a bunch from home and have all sorts of appointments these next two days, making the time fly by. We swapped gymnastics classes this week and went today instead of Friday and I noticed one of the moms had brought her laptop with her. Wow! I thought. She sure maximizes her time. I went to sign my daughter in so I could run to the grocery store and glimpsed at her computer. She was shopping online. And then I was out the door to make the most of my time!
I’m not talking about espresso or tequila. Last night was my double intramuscular injection night. I was planning on doing one in each side but ended up doing both on my left because I had warmed that side up with my rice therapy pillow to help disperse the thick PIO. I did the delestrogen first and without thinking put it in the left side. So, rather than spend a few minutes heating the other side, I went ahead and shot the progesterone in right beside the first one. I am so happy that the injections are going smoothly. After my first horrendous experience giving myself an intramuscular injection, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to self administer them. Now, it’s a piece of cake. Four days until transfer. Whoo hoo!
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and I’ve started my plethora of pre-transfer meds. I’m taking dyoxycycline with breakfast, medrol with lunch, dyoxycycline with dinner and two shots (progesterone and delestrogen) for dessert. It’s time to get everything in order for next week. My calendar is booked with extra work so I can take a few days off following transfer. I have massage scheduled for Wednesday compliments of mom and dad to be and can’t wait! After that I will be relaxed and ready to grow a baby.
Everything looks “beautiful” for transfer next week. I stay on .25 mL of delestrogen on Tuesdays and Saturdays and I start daily PIO (progesterone in oil) injections on the 20th along with medrol (daily) and doxycycline (twice daily). The last two are to prevent inflammation and infections associated with the embryo transfer. Bright and early Thursday morning we head down for the much anticipated date with the doctor and embryologist to plant this little seed.
Tomorrow is my final check up before our transfer, which is now just a week away! I have so much happening right now that it will be here in no time. It has been absolutely beautiful here and today we spent a few hours enjoying the sunshine down at the beach. There were a few pregnant bellies in bikinis and I was imagining myself baring a big baby belly this summer. My challenge is finding tops that hold me in. It’s hard enough not being pregnant, then add a couple sizes and va voom! Nothing fits. My nursing bras were 34DDDD = Gs. Scary, I know. When my daughter was several months old, I wanted to get a nice fitting non nursing bra. She was the perfect shopping companion and slept or chilled as we strolled around downtown. Now, shopping with a one and a half year old and four year old is a whole other ball game. We went to Nordstrom, where they usually have a good selection of my size and picked out a few to try on. The helpful sales girl suggested I get measured to make sure I was getting one that fit properly. So, she came into the fitting room with me. She measured then gave me one to try on. The moment I took off my nursing bra, milk shot out across the dressing room. I was so embarrassed! She laughed it off but I’m sure she shared that story a time or two. Oh the joys and stories babies bring.
Growing up, we’d have to be home every Sunday morning to clean the house. There were five of us sisters and we rotated the duties weekly. I try to uphold the tradition and deep clean on Sundays, however my children tend to make additional messes for me making my work seem never ending. This morning as I cleaned the kitchen my little boy (20 months old) dribbled syrup over the dining room table during breakfast. Then I swept and mopped with him “mopping” along side me pushing the broom over the clean floor. As I was vacuuming, he was drawing on the couch with blue (washable) marker. So I added an extra load of laundry to my constantly growing to do list. My children love helping with household chores and I look forward to the day when they start working with me rather than against me. I’m focusing on spring cleaning these next two weeks so I can put up my feet and relax after the embryo transfer and enjoy a bright, clean home. I just reupholstered the dining room chairs and I’m about to break out the label maker and get organized!
The word to describe my uterine lining today was “stellar”! I have a triple-layer forming which is perfect for implantation and am measuring 12.2mm. Yay! We are increasing my delestrogen to .25mL and I’ll have one more check up before the transfer. Everything is unfolding wonderfully and I am very optimistic that we are going to be successful this time around.